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Inappropriate

Reborn in the whore womb of death

My mother was a piece of shit. She died about 15 years ago. I thought at that time I had said my final farewells. Well, it turned out, I was wrong.

About six months after she passed, I went to the gravesite sometime in the afternoon. There wasn’t anyone around. What I’m about to say may shock you but at the time it made sense to do what I did. I had packed a shovel and some other basic tools to accomplish my plan of redemption.

Let me give a bit of a backstory so you understand why I thought I had to do what I thought I had to do. During the funeral of my mom, the pastor said something about the resurrection of the dead and the need to be born again. I probably should have taken notes because I may have jumbled up what he meant. Anyway, at the time I thought he meant if someone was born again out of the dead person then the dead person would resurrect. Now, I clearly realize now that that isn’t what he meant but I digress. It was clear to me then that I needed to be born again and maybe my mom could come back so I could call her a whore one last time. God I hated that cunt but I missed her.

Ok, let’s get back to the graveyard so you can experience what happened. Since no one was around and my mom’s lot was kind of away from the other plots, I began to dig. I had my mind set and nothing was going to stop me from digging up that gray twat and sniffing her remains. It was taking a long time. I probably dug over two hours before I hit the coffin. Baaaam!!! I was there. So, I took out my hammer and pried open the side. The smell was horrific! Oh my Christ titties it was repulsive. I vomited almost immediately. However, I never lost site of what I needed to do. I needed to be born again and my mother needed to come back to life! So, I lifted the coffin lid completely open. There she was. She was blackish blue and much more shriveled than when I last saw her. I gave her a kiss on her goddam slutty forehead. Then, I removed her clothing. It was her favorite gown. It was bright red like her nasty whorish pussy flaps. Which, brings me to my next point. I took off my clothes too. I then took out my hack saw and cut her open from her area of areas. I squeezed inside and counted to 10. In her womb I felt horrible let me tell you. It was gross but I had to do what the pastor had said. I mean you can’t think critically for yourself or Jesus will hate you and pitch a tantrum and make you live in flames. And listen, that’s fair! Anyway, I had pre recorded on my phone the voice of a doctor screaming, “push, push…you can do it.” So I pressed play and away we went. Just moments later I came back out. I was born again! I was born again! I was covered in decay and contined vomiting. Ugh, nasty. I sat there for a moment just perplexed as to what I had just done. Then, all of the sudden I heard a faint voice. Now, sunlight was quickly starting to fade on me at that point. There it was again. “Hey boy, hey boy.” My mom had always called me boy. I couldn’t believe it. I looked at her And sure enough it was her saying it. My rebirth had caused her resurrection! Was it possible? Shit, I guess!

We hugged and I called her a stinky whore and she called me an ungrateful cum drop. We laughed and then she shitted about 2 gallons of formaldehyde right on my chest.

I helped her up and we climbed out of the grave. We had conquered death! We continued laughing. I got her a blanket and we got in my car. We went home and both of us showered. We were amazed that it had worked. We caught up a bit and she said she had missed me and I told her the same. Then, she went back to her old room and fisted herself and yelled obscenities. She was back to her old nasty bitch tricks.

The next day was Sunday so we knew we had to go to church to show everyone the miracle and rejoice with the pastor. Well, we dressed up, even though mom’s dresses were pretty loose on her since she had lost 80lbs of flesh, and we headed to the service. When we arrived, we were greeted with gasps and fainting. Even old man Wilson, a fifty year deacon, passed out. Mom and I thought everyone would be praising god and rejoicing but most looked entirely frightened and were at a loss for words. Where were these hypocrites’s faith? They didn’t believe shit. The pastor even approached the pulpit and was very pale. He said,”I’m at a loss this morning. This woman was dead and is now alive. I, I just don’t understand.” I stood up and screamed at him. I told him,”you are the one who said god could raise her if I was born again.” He told me I misunderstood him. He said god didn’t do that any longer. I was so mad. Mom just sat there smiling. She was just glad to not be dead any longer.

Then, all of the sudden, the roof of the worship center blew completely off. Everyone was screaming. Kids were crying. The men were pleading to god. A cloud from the sky lowered on top of us. As it cleared, we could see a figure on stage beside the pastor. It was, it was Jesus…and boy did he look pissed.
He grabbed the pastor by the neck and said,”You are a fucking joke. You have no faith at all. I’m going to pull your stomach through your mouth.” So he did. The pastor with tears in his eyes fell over dead. A little old lady on the front said,” praise you Jesus.” He just looked at her with contempt and then snapped her old gray head right off her shoulders. Babies contined crying. “Why are these babies in big church. Zoom!” The babies all flew over and levitated in front of him. “I’m so sick of these shits. I’m also hungry.” So, Jesus devoured the little bastards while parents wailed and screamed. Jesus didn’t like that either so he set them all on fire. They burnt up in seconds. The rest headed for the door when he struck them all with 2′ massive cocks in their asses. They all hemorrhaged and died in minutes. It was awesome!

When he approached us he said, “I’m so proud of both of you. A whore and a dumbass can truly touch the heart of god. Um, ma’am, you wanna go grab a drink?” My mom said “Absolutely Christ.” God, she is such a slut.

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About ranndumm69

I am full of guts that make my heart valves and life blood work!

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