I went to a local sandwich shop for lunch today. I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into a meatball sub. Yum. When I got there I was the only customer so I went right on up and placed my order. The young girl taking my order was really sweet. I kinda wanted to place my penis in her vagina until it ejaculated liquid babies.
So, as she was making my sandwich, an old man came in. He was on up there in age. He was hobbling and using an ancient looking cane. I smiled and nodded and then asked him if he needed a hand. He replied, “Fuck off you young punk. I was in the Korean War and I don’t need anything.” I simply said ok and just took it as he was old and cranky. While the young girl was ringing me up, the old man blurted out, “hurry it up ya little cunt. I ain’t got all day.” I told him to watch his mouth and that he should be nicer. Oh man that set him off! He stumbled over to me and grabbed my collar. His eyes were filled with rage. The poor girl behind the counter was nervous being only 18 or so. “Son, I’m gonna fuck you up and when I’m done, I’m going to bend this little bitch over and squirt some history into her tight little snatch. You understand?” I had had it at that point. I respect my elders and I especially respect veterans but this guy had just forfeited his right to appeal to either. While his hand was still on my collar, I took his right hand and twisted it so it forced his grip to loosen. I then took my left hand quickly and poked his eyes. He screamed in pain and immediately grabbed his face. “How ya like that you old shit,” I said angrily. I then kicked both his knee caps to the sides of his legs. He fell down screaming in agony.
All of the sudden an elderly woman comes through the door. Both the employee and I just stopped and glared at her. Then the old lady replied, “So my husband was running his mouth again huh. My name is Barbara by the way and that’s Mel.” I said hello. “You got what was coming to you Mel,” she said. He told her to fuck off. She said, “oh you can count on it.” She came over to the counter and just reached over and pulled the small worker, who’s name was Mindy, over to her and started kissing her. She quickly removed mindy’s panties and ate her fresh pussy like a cannibal. No, I mean she ate it. Mindy was wailing in pain. Blood went everywhere. Mindy fell to the ground from loss of blood. Pussy fuzz was floating in the air and Cobra Commander appeared quickly and fingered Barbara’s nermy.Then, Barbara turned to me and growled. I tried to run but she had freezing powers and I couldn’t move. Why did she have them? Fuck you, that’s why! “Please don’t kill me” I begged. She said she wasn’t. She said I was chosen. She mentioned that all of this was written in the scroll of Enky that was penned in 12,000 BC.
She came over closer to me and pulled my pants down. I was yelling but it didn’t phase her. She lifted up her shirt and to my horror she had a just below average pelican cock growing on her navel. I just started crying. She then lubed my anal canal up really good and raped my ass. “Please get out of my ass. It’s my ass not your ass” I yelled.
When she finished she sat down and smoked. Old Mel was still lying on the floor in pain but giggling from the ass penetration. With my britches still down and my ass all raped and shit, my stomach suddenly swelled up. Barbara turned to me and said, “Ha, you are now carrying the shit baby messiah that will cause stink throughout the land and bring an end to pig dick 5: of warriorneek?
Ok, so probably five minutes later I gave birth to Shit baby. It cried and stank bad. Barbara then picked up Mel and left the building. A flying giraffe swept down as soon as they left the building and ate their heads. They died of course. I was hurting awful. Mindy was shaking with fear. “You know, he’s kinda cute in a smelly way,” Mindy lightly mumbled. I was so delighted to hear her say that so I took my doo doo filled titties and squirted her face and that healed her crotch. She then ate Shit Baby and so did I. We shared him. Then, we shit him out again and there were two fresh shit babies. We laughed like midgets gripping knee chins in a cabin outside of Tulsa in the snow covered dicks. Then, the manager walked in the front and said, “Mindy, you better clean up all this shit.” Then he showed us his elbows and they were covered with portals to dimensions where shit babies live. What were the chances? Our twin shits could live now in a better world…a world where they wouldn’t be judged.
*if you would like to donate money for shit babies research, them call 555-DOO-SHIT. Thank You!