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Top 5 Best Pick Up Lines

Fucking sit down and take notes fellas. Ladies, you too! There is something here for everyone. I’m gonna go through and list the top 5 pick up lines for men and women! That’s right! You both are gonna be picking up fresh ass all year with this shit! Here goes:(men 1st, women 2nd) 5.Excuse me … Continue reading

Donkey Punching!

It sucks being in prison. My god there is a lot of sodomy going on around here. There is a lot of shit in the showers from sudden anal rape. It stinks and I feel insecure about investment banking pelicans. The reason I’m in here is because I accidentally killed my ex girlfriend. Well, by … Continue reading

Milk: Rectum Walrus Silk

Do you remember the “Milk, It does a body good” campaign? Yeah, me too. I always questioned the truth claim of all that though. Well, it has come to my attention a few instances where Milk actually does a body bad! Real Bad! I actually witnessed the example I’m going to share about a week … Continue reading

Slowly Butchered and Eaten

She was never really that popular. She was an outcast from the start. Melanie Reese is who we are talking about by the way. Anyway, after high school she worked at the local gas station. Her parents were dead and she had no one. It was terribly sad. Through some very odd circumstances, Melanie drifted … Continue reading

Have you ever shummed?

SHUM- to ejaculate or climax while you also shit. Have you ever done this? Do you feel awesome about it? Well, I’m proud of you either way. When I was 17, my girlfriend and I were doing it in my backseat. She was moaning something fierce baby! Just when I was about to pop, she … Continue reading

Joel Osteen Sucks!

Smile, do better, grin, be a champion, god loves you and wants that raise for you! You can do it! I love spinning globes! Please give 10% or Jesus will cry and curse you. This is the extent of the shit this man spews weekly. What a joke. Tell all the dying aids infected orphans … Continue reading

Gay Marriage!

I’m sure you either agree or disagree with all this gay marriage stuff, right? Well, me too. Did you know Jesus was married to a man? Yes! 3 Peter 2:3 says “I loved Peter as a brother and as a lover after we had a gay wedding.” See? Oh, and Mary, Jesus’s mom, yeah she … Continue reading