Do you remember the “Milk, It does a body good” campaign? Yeah, me too. I always questioned the truth claim of all that though. Well, it has come to my attention a few instances where Milk actually does a body bad! Real Bad!
I actually witnessed the example I’m going to share about a week ago. Get ready…fuck!
Ok, so it was a couple weeks back on a Friday night and I decided to run out and grab some takeout for the family. I went to our favorite Chinese restaurant just like many times before. While I was walking to the door, this woman burst out from the restaurant. She was covered in milk which I found very odd. She ran to her car just a crying. Instead of going into the restaurant I decided to run over and check on her before she pulled away.
“Ma’am, are you ok? What happened?” She was hysterical just sitting in her car. “No. I’m not ok. I was attacked in that damn place. Why? I didn’t deserve that.” Apparently, something horrible had happened and by some misfortune she had gotten drenched in milk.
“Can you describe to me who attacked you and do we need to call the cops?” She paused for a moment and revealed what was really going on. “I…I, I guess I should tell you since you’ve been so kind to worry. I have a giant ass walrus that lives in my rectum. Often, it will jump out while I’m going about my day and just throw old 1983 milk all over my stupid bitch ass. Do you understand?” She said. “Fuck no that doesn’t make sense. What?” I replied.
At this point, and I’m not kidding, the damn walrus stuck its head out of her ass and told me to mind my damn business. So, I nodded yes and walked away. This goes to show you that sometimes it’s just better to mind your own business because there are mean ass walruses out there and they fucking suck ass!
P.S. Do you ever feel really unfresh down in your reproductive organ area?