Are you ready for the rapture? Have you been good for baby Jesus? If not, you won’t go to heaven to dine with Father and Son!
How many of you have heard this over and over? Yet, where is old Jesus? Is he dead? Yes, yes he’s dead. He’s dead and he’s never coming back. Honestly, we are not even certain he came the first time. Now, before you lose your shit over this, go fuck yourself. See?
So many people have come along thinking they knew the date and just wound up looking like a used tampon on Easter. Give up you dumbass apologists! Seriously though, lubricate the bed knob and let it soak in your ass chamber where your gerbils howl like 1982’s misery.
Ok, so the bible is false, Jesus ain’t real and the rapture isn’t coming. There you go. Now go and sin some more!