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religion

This category contains 8 posts

Don’t Leave Out the Sauces

HEY YOU STUPID FUCKING RESTAURANTS…DON’T LEAVE OUT THE GODDAM SAUCES BECAUSE IT AFFECTS THE MEAL GREATLY. IT MAKES US ALL WANT TO GUT YOUR EMPLOYEES AND BURN DOWN YOUR ESTABLISHMENTS. GET IT RIGHT…FUCKKKKKKKK!!!!!! Advertisements

Jesus Ain’t Comin Back!

Are you ready for the rapture? Have you been good for baby Jesus? If not, you won’t go to heaven to dine with Father and Son! How many of you have heard this over and over? Yet, where is old Jesus? Is he dead? Yes, yes he’s dead. He’s dead and he’s never coming back. … Continue reading

Eternal Fat Religion

Have you ever noticed that many religious people are fat? Often, these fat people have very fat opinions. In fact, many are republican evangelicals against gays, alcohol, abortion and common sense. (Ha, that was funny) So, why is it like this? Well, I got a theory. Here goes: They are fuckheads who live in a … Continue reading

F*ck Word: oh the sin!

Reply below with a creative way to use that word in a sentence and enter to win 10,000 nothings!!!!

My First Death Metal Song

Here are the lyrics to my first death metal song I wrote when I was 15. Enjoy! “Emmanuel’s Bones” I rock the crib and i get hungry Hungry for messianic baby So I stab Mary, and slice Joseph Yeah things get fuckin crazy Why wait any longer… Bite! Chew on the crying Christ Rip! The … Continue reading

Milk: Rectum Walrus Silk

Do you remember the “Milk, It does a body good” campaign? Yeah, me too. I always questioned the truth claim of all that though. Well, it has come to my attention a few instances where Milk actually does a body bad! Real Bad! I actually witnessed the example I’m going to share about a week … Continue reading

Joel Osteen Sucks!

Smile, do better, grin, be a champion, god loves you and wants that raise for you! You can do it! I love spinning globes! Please give 10% or Jesus will cry and curse you. This is the extent of the shit this man spews weekly. What a joke. Tell all the dying aids infected orphans … Continue reading

Gay Marriage!

I’m sure you either agree or disagree with all this gay marriage stuff, right? Well, me too. Did you know Jesus was married to a man? Yes! 3 Peter 2:3 says “I loved Peter as a brother and as a lover after we had a gay wedding.” See? Oh, and Mary, Jesus’s mom, yeah she … Continue reading